the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
