you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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