It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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