guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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