I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
