Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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