Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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