GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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