if you like me you must not know who I am
She is in my trunk
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
