I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
