Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
