this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
