I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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