youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
