I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
