I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize