So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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