I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
