Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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