I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
