if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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