Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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