you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need to sanitize my soul.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I touched a dick in church today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
