He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
