at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
