Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
