I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
