dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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