yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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