Cold hands, warm shart.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize