did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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