haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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