if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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