Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
farters have to be the big spoon...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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