so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize