I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
