using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
