I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
