Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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