It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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