I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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