Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
