My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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