Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!