yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.