i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.