Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  "I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.

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  (360): "I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words. http://tfl.nu/5sbe
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (1937)
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  (310): View more from California

  Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.

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  (310): Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/43yi
  Replies (38) Good night (3180) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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  (920): the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet. http://tfl.nu/lvr3
  Replies (12) Good night (6010) Bad night (1048)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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  (416): You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill.. http://tfl.nu/sqyp
  Replies (5) Good night (4342) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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  (469): Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take http://tfl.nu/rvcg
  Replies (13) Good night (2715) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (2300)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.

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  (318): I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change. http://tfl.nu/zbgz
  Replies (44) Good night (934) Bad night (3423)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

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  (928): If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself. http://tfl.nu/jcct
  Replies (5) Good night (1396) Bad night (1044)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  (859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25
  Replies (6) Good night (540) Bad night (856)
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  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

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  (617): He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/svv0
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (338)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...

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  (215): Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment... http://tfl.nu/6162
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.

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  (310): I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r5b0
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong

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  (602): I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong http://tfl.nu/9evz
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow

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  (914): I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow http://tfl.nu/qi9x
  Replies (6) Good night (142) Bad night (348)

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