Texts From Last Night

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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Oral text is very safe with the right protection.

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  (731): Oral text is very safe with the right protection. http://tfl.nu/ixvp
  Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (524)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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  (407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr." http://tfl.nu/64va
  Replies (14) Good night (963) Bad night (2714)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  only if we run a train.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  done.

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  (214): only if we run a train. (1-214): done. http://tfl.nu/x860
  Replies (7) Good night (3447) Bad night (669)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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  (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg
  Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (699)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

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  (870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs
  Replies (31) Good night (3837) Bad night (1203)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (932) Bad night (3800)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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  (801): He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay... http://tfl.nu/tir1
  Replies (20) Good night (1402) Bad night (4673)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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  (561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4
  Replies (3) Good night (2304) Bad night (840)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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  (734): Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ngas
  Replies (5) Good night (581) Bad night (688)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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  (781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24
  Replies (10) Good night (1239) Bad night (732)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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  (404): He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man http://tfl.nu/p704
  Replies (14) Good night (1747) Bad night (507)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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  (254): I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30 http://tfl.nu/3ama
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (2476)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

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  (609): So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!! http://tfl.nu/jit9
  Replies (8) Good night (1049) Bad night (377)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.

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  (864): Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol. http://tfl.nu/rl00
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (264)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me

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  (303): So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me http://tfl.nu/rws0
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (343)

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