You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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