Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
