friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize