I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
