I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
