Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
