I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
