Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
