There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
