i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
