In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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