did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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