Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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