Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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